Last February, after January’s cycle cancelled due to poor lining, I went in on CD 3 to gear up for a new cycle.  A doctor I hadn’t seen before saw me, and it took him about 3 seconds to wand me and announce that I had a cyst and my cycle was cancelled and he left the room.  Even the nurse apologized for his bad bedside manner.

I should have known when I looked up who my appointment was with today that nothing good could come of it.  I had a sneaking suspicion that things were going on with my ovaries because the last two days they’ve hurt like they did from my IVF cycle.  But I was prepared to push for things to be aggressive.  Heck, last March I had 5 good follicles and still no pregnancy.

But they don’t let you do an IUI with 8.  Maybe they used to, before Octomom and Jon and Kate ruined it, but they’re so scared of higher order multiples that they get trigger happy (or NOT trigger happy I suppose) at 5 or 6.  8 is pretty much out of the question.  I pushed back, but to no avail.  

I cried the whole way to the car.  It feels so unfair to wait so long to get here only to get cancelled.  Again.  Sure, I suppose the good news is I got cancelled because I responded too well.  There’s also the possibility of a polyp in my uterus but he didn’t see much of an issue with that and said many women get rid of them with their regular cycle.  

So.  Both times I’ve seen this man I’ve ended up with a cancelled cycle.  At least this time he said he was sorry and said I was the third patient who overstimmed and had to be cancelled just this morning.  I think that was supposed to make me feel better.  

It didn’t.  

We have a birthday party to go to today for a very sweet girl who deserves me putting on my big girl panties and sucking it up.  But wine is on the menu tonight for anyone who wants to come over.