For those of you who know me and have driven with me, NO the title is not referring to me.
Yesterday, I was driving home from work on one of those rare days when I didn’t carpool with H. As I was driving on the long stretch of main road just off the freeway, I zoned a little bit. I was lost in the radio or something, who knows. Anyway, as a result, the car sort of drifted to the left (I was in the left lane). I didn’t cross into the other lane, nor would I have (I was paying attention, just on auto-pilot) and it wasn’t even one of those situations where you feel the need to jerk the car back to center. I just drifted a bit too close to the white line for the lady next to me’s taste. She honked. I raised my right hand as if to say, “Sorry,” all the while thinking, “Geez, lady, chill.” Whatever.
About a mile and a half later, I notice she’s pulled behind me. It’s two lanes both directions, and there’s a lot of lane changing after work because people get impatient. It doesn’t make it go any faster, just pisses people off considerably. I generally stay to the left unless someone is egregious in their driving and then I’ll move to pass them (I define egregious on this road as driving 30 in the 45 zone when everyone drives 50).
Another mile (we’re far off the freeway) and I go to make a right turn and notice she’s still behind me. Nothing odd there, there’s a lot of houses in BFE where we live, so many of us at that time are headed the same direction. When I went to turn left without my signal and she was still behind me, I started to get this sense that something wasn’t quite right. I took a right turn I don’t normally take, that will get me home, but it’s not efficient and it’s a turn you really only take if you live right on that street. She followed.
I started to feel my heart beating faster. Was this lady following me? And for what purpose? Because I came too close to the white line for her taste? What was she going to do if I stopped? Scream at me? Get physical? Did she have a gun? Seriously, all sorts of irrational thoughts come into your head when all of a sudden you realize some crazy road rage bitch is following you.
Although I questioned that she was following me because I could see her in my rear-view mirror. She had salt-and-pepper short hair, looked to be in her early 50s, late 40s if I’m being generous. She looked totally calm, like anyone else driving home. She was in a white Sub.aru (I think) and I was starting to get too freaked out to remember her plates. She looked like a normal older suburban grandma.
As I rounded the corner I made the turn like I was going home, but instead of turning into our cul-de-sac, I kept going. She followed. Now, there are any number of turns she could have taken if she lived around here, but she didn’t. So I kept driving, crossed a major through road that goes between our housing development and another. She followed.
By then, I was convinced, and I was scared. I picked up my cell and called H. “Hey, this crazy bitch is following me because I almost crossed the line driving on Big Road and I don’t know what to do.” “Come home, I’ll be waiting out front.” “Ok…”
Through this whole conversation I’m weaving my way through the streets of the housing complex, making it clear that I’m on to her and not stopping. But when H said come home, I figured it couldn’t be worse than driving around until she gives up. So I set up to cross back over the through road I had crossed previously, and she followed. Halfway through the intersection, she turned and disappeared.
What the f*ck is wrong with people? Hell, if I had cut her off or actually merged into her lane, I could understand her being pissed off and shaking her fist at me shouting obscenities, but usually that kind of thing is over a half a block later. But to calmly track me on what ended up being a wild goose chase — I mean I dragged that on for almost 15 minutes. Do people have nothing better to do?