Aside from not posting much (I’m working on that), I also feel a lot like I can’t truly blog about what’s going on in my life. People I know IRL read this blog, including my wife, and it’s been really hard to use this site as the outlet I really want it to be. However, I am not totally sure if that is my own insecurities about posting, or if I’m really just not meant to be a “bare-it-all” blogger.
I read these blogs, that I love by the way, where the blogger just leaves nothing to the imagination. Readers are privy to intimate details of the blogger’s lives, and the posts are often funny, heart-warming and inspiring.
I want to be one of those bloggers. The kind that finds the humor in the pitfalls of married life and child-rearing. The kind that provides insight into her life by being completely vulnerable with strangers.
And truly, it’s not the strangers I’m struggling with. But the fact that people I come face-to-face with on a daily (or weekly) basis read this blog makes me reluctant to be completely open. Because the truth is there are things I’d like to blog about that aren’t my proudest moments, and there is a part of me that cares what you all think of me.
So I’m left with a decision. My readership went drastically up with the post about Tro.pic Thu.nder. And all of a sudden I felt like a fraud. There really isn’t much other than that post that has been interesting reading recently. My blog isn’t deep or insightful anymore, if it ever was.
I’m going to think about it for a few days, and see if I have it in me to go to that place. The one where the messes of my life are fodder for public scrutiny. Maybe it will be good therapy. God knows I can’t afford to pay anyone for that right now!