Frustration

My life is a little frustrating right now. Not in the “life-altering, what-the-hell-are-we-going-to-do” kind of way that it was the last two months, but frustrating nonetheless.

H found a job, which has us all breathing a sigh of relief. But at the same time, I’ve discovered an increasing discontent with my own, not because of the mission of the department or the goals of my program, but because it’s not my passion. And I found two jobs within the State that I could transfer to that would make me much happier – working more in education and child development rather than housing. So I’m taking a path to try and make that happen.

In vanity news, I got my eyebrows waxed after much too long a hiatus (2 months?). I can usually easy go a month by self-maintenance, and then it gets to be too much for me, so I go and get them done. We moved, and I went and got my haircut not long after at a salon that also offers waxing. The girl did a decent job the first time, but I got a different one this time. And I don’t know if she left the wax on too long, used something different than the other girl, or what, but she left me with burns on both of my eyelids. The one over my left eye is so bad that hiding it with makeup was literally impossible until today (I had them done on Tuesday) but I’m not sure if it was worse before makeup or after – because after it looked like I was hiding a black eye, before it looked like I’d tried to curl my eyelashes with my curling iron.

Our trip to So Cal was good, but I think my parents were a bit overwhelmed by the kids’ enthusiasm toward them. Previously, they had been very shy, but this time they were very interested in following my parents around, asking what they were doing, wanting to play. As hurt as they’ve been in the past about the kids being standoffish with them, they almost seemed annoyed this time.

And then my trip turned a strained friendship even more strained. Not directly, but indirectly. And I’m at what feels like an impasse with this person – and that makes me sad. Maybe she’s right, that right now we are both too hurt to be able to talk about it and make progress. But this is someone who I’ve counted on for a long time, and who I feel like I’ve been there for over the years as well. And I’ve seen a change in her. And while that may have much more to do with what she’s dealing with than how she feels about me, it’s hard to know that when I’m kept in the dark. So when I didn’t actively seek to visit her when we traveled down South, it fueled a smolder into much more of a fire.

She reads my blog, or at least she used to, and I’m not totally comfortable going into any more detail than I have. But if she does read, I just want to say to her that I think of her daily, and while we may not be actively speaking, I do hope only good things for you.

N has a Dr. appointment tomorrow. We’ve been concerned because he’s walking on the very inside of left foot. We just want to make sure he’s ok – and he’ll also be getting a full physical and one shot. The Hep A. Ugh. I hate shots.

That’s it. Truth is, I don’t have too much right to complain. But it seems like some small frustrations have converged. I know it will even out eventually. But hey, it’s my blog and I’ll cry if I want to.

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