Surfacing – If for a moment

I was really hoping to provide a post saying we had found a house and had a move-in date and everything was going to be ok.

But we still don’t have a house and the days are counting down, and while we will have a roof over our heads no matter what, the daily grind of not knowing is making functioning through the waiting very, very hard.

Work is busy, thank God, but I still manage to search cra.igs.list for new listings every few hours. I ride home on the bus past houses with lights and Christmas trees up and wonder if we’ll get a chance to put ours up at all. We’re done with presents for the kids, they won’t want for anything – and while I know it’s not about toys and wrapping paper – for 2 1/2 year olds, it pretty much is. J will get her pink camera, and N will have trains, and there’s even a few fun surprises they haven’t asked for but will love too.

Even I was amazed by the words that came out of my mouth to our friends yesterday when I said, “I went to check on the kids last night before we went to sleep, and as much as we have going on in our lives right now, in that moment, the world was perfect.”

There is nothing like my daughter’s arms sleepily around my neck after a dream has woken her in the middle of the night. Nothing like my son’s hands on either of my cheeks as he goes in for a big, wet kiss. Nothing like them screaming through the closed bedroom door after I’ve laid them down for the evening: “MOMMY!!!” “What?” “I LOVE YOU EVER!!!”

We’ll figure it out. We’re not there yet. But wherever they are? That’s home.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s