There was an article in our local paper about the “No on 8” folks deciding whether or not to pursue a 2010 or 2012 ballot measure to overturn 8. Every time an article about gay marriage hits our paper, the trolls come out and the internet comments turn ugly. And I don’t know why I get so frustrated, but I do. It’s always the same 8 or 9 assholes who have the same shit to say about us – how we are deviants and don’t deserve the privilege of marriage.
I try not to be irritated. I try not to even read the stupid comments, because I KNOW the homophobes come out in droves to bash us in these comments. And then I just can’t help myself and I write something myself. And of course I get bashed. As do all of our supporters. And comments like “get over it” and “deviants don’t deserve relationship recognition.”
I look at my kids and I wonder how much of this will be around when they are old enough to truly understand all of it. And I know that we will arm them as much as we can, but will it be enough? Will they resent us? Will they slam the door and scream “I didn’t ask to be born” and “this is all your fault” when they get teased at school?
I want to wrap my arms around them and protect them from people’s ignorance and fear and hatemongering. I know, I know. Kids of gay parents grow up well-adjusted and happy. But there is inevitable pain in the process. How do I minimize the amount of pain? We live in a supposedly open area, that is largely liberal and largely gay-friendly. We go to an open and affirming church that is getting ready to confer same-sex blessings. We have access to a network of other families like ours.
Ultimately, I know intellectually that as long as we love them and are open with them, we have done everything we can for them. I just wish I could be assured that they will never endure an anti-gay slur, or lose a friend because they have two moms, or feel like they have to hide who they are.
I hope we do enough to show them how wanted, how loved, and how important they are to us. And how hard we are working to make sure they have as innocent and pure a childhood as possible.