I’m struggling to come up with a title for this post. Yesterday was a great day. We had friends over, barbecued, lit fireworks, played wii, talked. It was probably the best Fourth of July I’ve ever had.
Until the end of the day. See, we’ve known the crew over at Finding Chaos for over 6 years now. It started with Carey and I chatting on a trying to conceive (TTC) message board and realizing how close we lived to each other. It took us over a year to conceive the twins, and Carey and Stephanie were right there with us, trying and struggling on their end. They came to our baby shower, and I remember telling them, “You don’t have to come, I know how hard this is.” because they were still trying. I’ll never forget Carey telling me, “No, it’s ok. It’s you guys. And we know how hard it’s been for you.” And I knew exactly what she meant. It wasn’t that they could celebrate with us because our struggle made it easier, but it was because they knew we got it. If I remember correctly, Carey kicked ass at all the party games too!
Our twins are 4, their trio is 2. There’s a pretty good gap between where they were still struggling after our twins were born. I remember about 2 weeks after the twins came they suffered a miscarriage and it hit me so hard. Carey told me and I went out to the front porch where H was chatting with the neighbor and I completely burst into tears. It was so unfair. But they were always there. In fact, Stephanie was pregnant with The Boy at the twins’ first birthday party. In fact, I think I recall them leaving a little early because Stephanie was still pretty green in her first trimester.
Then Carey got pregnant (hallelujah IVF) with Little Miss and Mr. B. All of sudden they were both pregnant and everything was right with the world. They were finally going to have the family they so desperately wanted and deserved. First came The Boy. And boy was H smitten. It was so cute. We have a picture of her and him in the hospital and I’m pretty sure she was ready to steal him right then and there. They’ve been BFF’s ever since. 5 months later, Mr. B and Little Miss entered the world. They were a little early, but fighters from the start. Now? Now they are outgoing, intelligent toddlers who melt my heart every time I see them.
The Boy is so sweet. He always hangs back a little when I see him, waiting for me to call his name and put my arms out. And then he will run and throw himself in my arms and put his head on my shoulder. He loves H. He’s so cute around N too. I think he wants to be a big boy like N. Last night N was making silly faces and both The Boy and Mr. B were laughing HYSTERICALLY.
Mr. B makes me smile every time I see him. Poor little man has been through the ringer medically, but nothing seems to phase him. Whenever we go to Carey and Steph’s, Mr. B takes one look at me and runs to go get a book and climb in my lap. He can spend all evening reading with me.
Then there’s Little Miss. That little peanut stole my heart the minute I held her. I put my arms out to that little one and she runs to me so fast and hard she can knock me over. She will sit on my lap for ages, and apparently (like last night) she will give up hanging with the other kids to come look for me and spend time with me. “Miss K, Miss K” she wandered looking for me. She has come to be known as my little BFF.
Carey and Stephanie are two of the most genuine and amazing friends anybody could ask for. They are the kinds of parents everyone strives to be, and the kinds of people everyone wants to be around. I’m so thankful that they have let California be home for the last 8 years and I’m incredibly thankful that things like Fac.ebook and sk.ype exist so that we can chat and the kids won’t forget us.
Last night, as the fireworks were going off all over our street, I cried and said goodbye to some of the best people I’ve ever been blessed with in my life. And I held those babies as tight as I could as many times as I could get my hands on them. I hugged The Boy, gave him kisses and told him I loved him. I chased down Mr. B and snuggled him and kissed his face and whispered I loved him. And I walked Little Miss to the car and told her, “I love you baby girl, never ever forget that.” And I put her in her carseat and stood there while Carey and Steph loaded everyone up. Mr. B blew me a kiss, I gave Carey and Steph final hugs and I walked back across the street.
Waiting on the other side of the street were my kids, who came running to me, and N flew into my arms and I swooped him up and buried my face in his little neck. He was telling me he LOVED the fireworks. When I put him down he ran into the house and I folded my arms across my chest and just cried.
I love you guys. Thank you for being there through everything, and for sharing your family with ours. To me, you are part of our family. Which means it doesn’t matter how far away you move, family’s family. So you always have a place here and family in California you can count on.