Day #13 – 30 Days of Truth

A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Dear Chris Webster:
Just over 12 years ago, I came out and moved 500 miles from the only home I’ve ever known. (Ok, technically more like 419, but 500 sounds better AND will make more sense later in the post.)

I didn’t know anything about you, or your band. All I knew is my girlfriend gave me a copy of your CD to listen to for the drive.

Leaving home for me was huge. The leaving was scarier than the coming out. Leaving my family, my coaching job that I LOVED more than anything, my friends. And I was leaving a man who loved me, but who I couldn’t love back the way he needed. But he’d been my constant for almost 9 years.

Music for me is my heartbeat. I connect with music in a visceral way. It can stop me in my tracks, bring me to tears, make me smile, mark a memory. Listening to your “Drive” CD I can still see myself pulling my little green Toyota Tercel onto the 5 freeway, tears falling from my eyes as I said goodbye to my old life and drove towards my new one.

The whole CD is amazing. But there was one song – one song that I played over and over again for hours on that drive. I was so scared. So afraid to find out who I was and who I needed to be. But it was so necessary. I’m such a better person now for having been through all of that.

I’ve seen you in concert many times, all with your band. You do solo shows so rarely. But I’ve been lucky enough to go once. I sat, mesmerized, lost in your voice and the words.

My ex-girlfriend, the one who introduced me to your music, had gotten me an autographed CD of yours back then. A few years later my car was broken into and it was stolen along with a few other random CDs. I was so mad. That CD didn’t have any meaning to those kids who broke into my car. But for me it was a symbol of who I was – the beginning of a more authentic life.

The leaving was the toughest thing. But your music got me through. When I needed to remember that everything was going to be ok, even when the relationship that I left home for disintegrated, I could reach for your music and know. Know that I was ok. That I was going to be ok.

That I was free.
————————————————————————————————————–

Candybars and Freedom
Chris Webster
(Local artist, no videos of this song available as far as I can tell)

Get in the car, don’t look back
Get in the fast lane, get on the inside track
When you’ve gone 100 miles, have yourself a candybar
You never thought you’d get this far.

This is for real, you won’t be back
This is the last time, he’ll hurt you like that
When you’ve gone 200 miles
Stop for something cool
You’re feeling more like a woman, and less of a fool

It’s sweet like the last rose of the season, sweet like summer rain
Sweet like candybars and freedom
And it’s so good, to feel good again

Stretch your legs, dry your eyes
Try out your new wings, try them on for size
When you’ve gone 500 miles you hear rancheras on the radio playing
You don’t understand a word of what they’re saying

But it’s sweet like the last rose of the season, sweet like summer rain
Sweet like candybars and freedom
And it’s so good, to feel good again

It might have seemed like the leaving
Was the toughest thing you ever faced
But there’s no going back, now that you’ve had a taste

It’s sweet like the last rose of the season, sweet like summer rain
Sweet like candybars and freedom
And it’s so good, to feel good again

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4 thoughts on “Day #13 – 30 Days of Truth

  1. Nothing like music. Finding a record you could almost eat is such a great milestone memory.

    What a scary time. It must feel so good to look back and count your beautiful changes.

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