Yes. I know. I’ve been absent.

I’m filled with blank spaces every time I sit down to write.

I WANT to write. But I feel like I’m in a space where everything is stuck inside right now. The things I want to write about, I can’t. The things I can write about don’t seem to resonate right now. So I just. Don’t. Write.

My daughter is in a very difficult stage right now. Sassy. Angry. Talking back. Asserting her independence in non-productive ways, like drawing on my walls. It’s taking a lot out of me each night. She can be the sweetest child – snuggly, loving, helpful. And the minute you try to get her to do something she doesn’t want to or stop her from doing something she does, it’s like we need to call an exorcist. That girl can get angry. She hasn’t figured out how to slam the door to her room yet, but I am pretty sure it’s coming.

It’s the holiday season. We’ve done the Thanksgiving thing, there was a new baby involved, it was hard. Christmas is coming and the kids are in full swing. We’ve visited Santa, put up the tree, and ordered our Christmas cards. We’ve made our 2nd annual set of baked Christmas ornaments.

It appears to be the season of facebook pregnancy announcements. Apparently none of the straight folks I know seem to understand how birth control works.

Yesterday a friend asked me to train for a half-marathon with her. Sigh. I’m not a runner. I can do 5 miles on the elliptical without breaking much of a sweat. But running has always eluded me. I’m going to spend the next few weeks seeing if I can work up to anything worth a damn and decide after Jan 1 if I am going to do it. It’s in March so that doesn’t give me much time. It’s a goal to work to, but I’m just not sure if I’m setting myself up for failure. Thoughts? Ideas?

My lovely friend Lady Pumpkin nominated me for a little blog award called Cherry On Top.

Here are the rules: Link back to the person who awarded you, and then pick five blogs to pass on the award too. Make sure to comment on the awarded blogs so they know they’ve been picked.
I nominate:


That’s all I got today.


2 thoughts on “Blank

  1. Thanks for the nomination!! 🙂 I’m happy to see you writing – keep at it, even when you think there is nothing to write. It will help.

    As for running – look at the couch to run thingie. Couch to 5K? You can do it!

  2. I second the nomination from Pumpkin. It is good to hear from you. I understand your quiet. Sometimes the words all crowd together, or I have a post, but then later I think the exact opposite. I hope you find your stories. We miss them.

    Thank you for the nomination. Perhaps I will figure out where my own head is as well. Thanks very much for the encouragement.

    Now, this won’t come out right, but had to laugh out loud when I try to picture your daughter in The State. I know The State, but I just cannot picture that sweet girl in it! I know, easy for me to say. I send you strength. Momma’s job is some serious hard work, all jokes aside.

    I am saddened to imagine a baby landing in your sights and bringing you down. I wish your heart wasn’t so tender from loss.

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