Keepin’ It Real

In my efforts to shed the shroud of perfection, I offer up a random list of 10 things I’d like to pretend aren’t true:

10. My kids eat PB&J more meals than not. Right now, it’s practically the only meal they will consume in its entirety.

9. My children know the character’s names and storylines on Days of Our Lives. Hey, I’m continuing a family tradition.

8. If it can be microwaved or requires less than 3 steps to prepare, I’m all over making dinner. Beyond that, I’m a total space cadet when it comes to cooking. I totally belong on “Worst Cooks In America” on the Food Network.

7. I have lost close to 40 pounds in the last year. About 20 of it was due to conscious eating and trying to work out. The other 20 was due to stress and my habit of being a stress non-eater. I feel guilty taking compliments on how much I’ve lost and how thin I look.

6. There are bins of baby clothes from when the twins were little littles that I not only can’t bring myself to give away, but the mere thought of going through them brings instant tears to my eyes.

5. I often hide behind the camera as a way to avoid feeling alone in a roomful of people who I don’t feel safe with emotionally. At the same time, I adore taking pictures and getting that one shot that I can be proud of. It’s a hard line to walk.

4. I hate cleaning toilets. It’s like a germophobe’s worst nightmare. The catch-22 is that as a germophobe dirty toilets gross me out.

3. My children have both used swear words in contextually appropriate manners. It is difficult not to laugh when discussing with them that these are inappropriate words for a four year old.

2. I hate leaving the house after I’ve come home from work for the day. Once I’m home, I want to be home, and I will change into pajamas mere minutes after getting home.

1. Today we put the kids on lottery lists for 4 different elementary schools. 4. I feel like we’ve done a halfway decent job of raising them up until now, and this next phase of their lives terrifies me. Parenthood? Scares me more than I ever thought it would.


5 thoughts on “Keepin’ It Real

  1. Parenthood scares me too, and you so don’t belong on “Worst cooks in America” have you seen those people?? Also I think there are worse things than PB &J, at this point whatever we have to do to get them to eat.

    I know your not good at taking complements on your weight loss, but you look GREAT!!!!! 🙂

  2. I love to cook, and I have gained 40 pounds this year (because at some point in the last two years of my life, I learned the very (un)useful skill of stress eating … and Monkey is not old enough to do much but mimic swear words at me… but this is very similar to my list.

    Especially number 2. Which, since I am a stay at home mom (er, most of the time) means… I sometimes only put big girls pants on out of shame or fear that a neighbor might stop by.

  3. Good tidbits in here. Not sure I believe you on #9. I think perhaps you watch crap tv, but a soap? Say it isnt so.

    #6 makes me very sad too. I dont want to picture you surrounded with all of those memories.

    #1 is out of your control. The good new and the bad news, all rolled into one.

  4. Oh my dear sweet Roccie. Days of Our Lives has been a staple in my family since I was the twins’ age. Sort of like Barry. 🙂

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