Day #23 – 30 Days of Truth

Something you wish you had done in your life.

This is an easy one. I wish I’d admitted the depression a lot sooner.

Post partum depression is a snake. They tell you that you might feel sad as the hormones shift. So you write off how you feel as “baby blues.” Then time goes by and you’re still crying, still sad, still wondering what you’re doing wrong. Then your OB says you need to suck it up.

But you’re still crying. And still wondering what you did wrong.

So you suck it up. You go back to work. You make it look like you’ve got it all together.

And you love those babies with ever fiber of your being. And you wonder how some people make it look so easy.

Then it’s two years later and you find yourself losing patience with two toddlers over things that toddlers do.

So you call your doctor. And you ask him to give you something. Anything to not feel like such a horrible person. Even though asking for them makes you feel like a failure.

He does. And it’s like a fog lifts.

You stay on them a year or so.

And you wish.

You wish you’d asked for them two years ago. Because now you can’t get those years back.

So yeah. That’s what I wish I’d done.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Day #23 – 30 Days of Truth

  1. Wow. What a powerful reminder about what we lose out on when we are unwilling or unable to take good care of ourselves. Thank you for sharing.

  2. I didnt know this about you. It breaks me heart. It makes me feel a little less cheap.

    I feel night and day different myself. I am amazed by what a wild argument was constantly battling in my head most of the time. And I was always losing. Forget that.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s