Indeed

Cross posted to my public blog:

The other day before leaving for work H had left notes for each of the kids in their rooms. She does this sometimes on days she doesn’t get to see them much, and this particular day she had missed out on some of her normal time with them because of a birthday party we had to go to. The kids loved it. J had said that she wanted to write a note for H and then promptly forgot about it until about 8:45pm, an hour or so after bedtime. I was frustrated, having just started a movie and hoping to enjoy a quiet evening. I got up, retrieved her a piece of paper and a crayon. She then asked me how to spell various words and we talked about how she could sound out the words she wanted to use and do her very best to spell them. My movie was paused and I was anxious to get back to it. She said “I’ll find a book to help me.” Ok baby, I told her, be good and don’t color on anything except the paper.

Two hours later the movie is over and I head up to bed, stopping to check on the kids. I walk into J’s room expecting to find a note somewhere for me to deliver to H.

Let me interrupt at this point by saying that currently J has the distinction of being a five year old that has to be barricaded into her room. We’ve resorted to the old baby gate because she absolutely refuses to stay in her room. No amount of rewards or punishments seems to do the trick. So the baby gate goes up until she falls asleep and then it comes off. If she has to potty she calls me and I’ll come up and take her to the potty. But this is a child who WILL NOT stay put. And if all she did was head to the playroom and sit quietly with her toys, then it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. No. J has been found creating wall art, decorating the bathroom with toothpaste, and just in general up to no good. So the baby gate it is.

Anyway, when I was in her room, I didn’t see a note, so I assumed she’d given up on the project and I felt horribly, thinking I would help her in the morning so she could write a note for H.

I closed her door and went into my room only to find a note for H on her nightstand. Little stinker. She must have gotten her brother to deliver the note on her behalf. Resourceful. I pick up the note to read what she’s written, and about fall over laughing.

Apparently her book of choice to help her write her letter? The Bible.

Exhibit A:

In case you can’t read her writing, it appears she’s written:

“Indeed now your servant has found you peace. Set. So I born a pigs. I love Momo. [Happy Face]”

While I’m not sure where the pig reference is from specifically, the “Indeed now your servant has found you…” is the beginning of Genesis 19:19 (at least that’s the phraseology used in her Precious Moments Bible), which I discovered when googling what she had written to figure out what verse it was. What’s ironic about this is that Genesis 19:19 is the middle of the passages about Sodom and Gomorrah, so often used as one of the clobber passages against families like ours. The humor in this must not be overlooked.

I called H immediately, as she was on her way home, and was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe. I refused to read her the note on the phone, however, because it was too good not to be able to see her face. The next morning, she told J how much she loved her note and J was very proud.

And for the record?

She scaled the baby gate to put the note in our room.

Dammit.

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5 thoughts on “Indeed

  1. Bible, you are such a funny thing. Am I allowed to say this without being struck by lightning? I think so. I mean, it is always there in the back of my mind – sure, I am a believer in it in general… but the WHOLE thing? Eh, not so much. You go obey a husband, why dont you??

    There is so much humor with this. What are the odds, really??

  2. This is one of the funniest things I have ever read. You had me cracking up at “Apparently her book of choice to help her write her letter? The Bible.” My friend came into see what was making me laugh so hard…and it just got funnier, we were laughing ourselves silly reading it together. You can’t get better than “I born a pigs.” and the coincidence of the passage she chose, awesome. Kids write the darndest things.

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