Is this thing on?

I know, I know. I’m not really sure how so much time went by between posts. Well, maybe I am. Between the new job and the kids activities and just trying to keep my head above water, I guess blogging took the hit. And running, apparently.

The new job is going well. At least I feel like it is. I’m still learning, but feeling a lot more comfortable with the technical material, and I feel like I’ve established myself with my staff pretty well. They seem to respect me and look for my opinion even on projects that have been in process since before I came on board.

The kids are so busy. J is on a competitive gymnastics team this year. She started gymnastics in May and quickly the coaches discovered how strong she is and how much she loves being in the gym. So now she’s in the gym three nights a week for 2 hours at a time. N is halfway through his first soccer season, and doing really well. His team had their first loss handed to them today, which he took fairly well.

Emotionally the last month has been rough. For those of you not interested in TMI, you might want to skip ahead a bit. Since the twins were born, my cycles have gotten closer and closer together, to the point now where it’s very possible for me to have two in a month. I’ve had 21 day cycle months, as well as months like this one, a whopping 25 day month. The cramps and moodiness start earlier and earlier, to where if I’m not bleeding, I’m in PMS hell.

Trying to process never TTC again while being in constant PMS is like trying to close the door in the middle of a hurricane. Add some surprise pregnancy announcements to some fellow infertiles re-upping for another tour of duty of TTC, and it’s difficult to find a place for it all. I decided I needed real closure, one that would increase my quality of life and take any remaining “what if’s” out of the picture.

I emailed my gynecologist and asked about an endometrial ablation. I bleed heavily, have severe cramps, and sometimes have two cycles in a month, so I’m a good candidate. There’s also hysterectomy, but I’d prefer to go with the least surgical first if it will help. I know an ablation won’t change the hormonal aspect of things, but I’ll be working in other ways to try and combat that aspect of things.

I haven’t been running as often. Finding time has just been really difficult. Which for some of you out there may sound like an excuse, and in many ways it probably is. I could get up at 5am and run on the treadmill. Or I could sleep that hour instead. I’m trying to get weekday runs in at 9pm on the treadmill, and long runs outside on the weekends. I’ve just not been that motivated. I’ve got another half marathon scheduled in a few weeks, and I’m not ready, but I’m not that far off, so I’ll attempt it with the goal of simply finishing.

I haven’t been knitting or reading much either. Nothing seems to really grab me recently. By the time I get home and get the kids in bed after having been at the gym with J or running around after a soccer game, curling up with a good tv show with H or chatting with a friend is about all I’ve got to give. I’m hoping I rediscover my motivation soon. Maybe it’s under this pile of laundry I’ve got going.

So it’s not that I’m not around, or that I’m not ok, although I’m not sure anyone would have wanted to read anything I had to say over the last month that’s for sure. I’m here, I’m ok, and I’m still reading what everyone’s writing. I’ve been a bad commenter, for sure, and for that I apologize.

I have a few other posts rolling around in my head, and I’m hoping maybe to get one or two of them written in the next week. One about my in laws’ surprise visit, and one about simplifying life to enjoy the things in it more.

I hope what’s left of my readership is doing well and I’ll try and be back much sooner this time!

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3 thoughts on “Is this thing on?

  1. Busy for you sounds like an understatement. And with being that busy and in PMS mode 30 days a month?!?! Forget it. You keeping your head above water is way better then a lot of people Would be. You should be proud. And know that we’re here for you ❤

  2. It’s good to hear from you!

    I haven’t been running much recently either, as I have been super busy. I have a comprehensive exam on Monday for my program, and while the running would probably have been good to combat the stress/anxiety, often I couldn’t fit it in, except late at night. And I have also been battling major nausea, which has not been fun. Hopefully it will settle down soon.

    I look forward to reading your post on simplifying life whenever it gets written. 🙂

  3. Wow, it sounds like it has been quite a month! And the never-ending PMS sounds really miserable (even without the complicated TTC-related emotions it brings up). Hope you’re able to find ways to decrease the misery all around.

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