The Night Before Kindergarten

Dear J and N,

Tomorrow you will go off to the big world of kindergarten. I can’t believe this day has come. Just yesterday I feel like I was bringing you home.

When you turned 5 this year, I knew it was momentous. But nothing can compare to handing you off to your first real teacher tomorrow to prove how fast you’ve grown.

I don’t know if I can adequately express to you how proud I am of you, and how much I love you. Giving you to Mrs. M. tomorrow will be one of the hardest things I’ll ever do, because I know there’s no turning back. Tomorrow starts an entirely new phase in your life – in all our lives. And believe me when I tell you I’m so blessed and honored to be able to walk through it with you. But know that driving away tomorrow my eyes will be filled with tears. Tears for the babies you were, and for the people you are becoming.

You are so anxious about school. You have been for months. And I’ve done everything I can to allay your fears and encourage you to see school as something exciting. It’s ok to be frightened. It’s new, and scary, and you’re still so very little. I have no doubt, though, that you’ll be quite the kindergarten expert come back to school night next week. You’re so very brave, my love, and I can’t wait to watch you go from a nervous preschooler to the confident student I know you will be. You’ve got this, I promise.

You are so ready for this. Sometimes I worry you’re so ready that they’ll want to shove you in first grade. But socially this is where you need to be. You’re still so very five. I know you’re going to be the mayor of kindergarten in no time. You haven’t met a kid yet who you can’t be friends with. I wonder, though, if a little bit of anxiety will peek through tomorrow. I’m so grateful that you and your sissy will have each other, because I won’t have to worry that you’ll ever be alone. I adore your enthusiasm for simply everything that comes your way, and I hope you can keep that joy as you walk this new journey called school.

I love you both so much. And as hard as tomorrow might be, as scary as it might seem, no matter what happens, we’ll always be here to pull you into our arms at the end of the day. You might be growing up and we might have to learn to let go a little more than we’re used to, but you’ll always be my Peanut and Little Man.



4 thoughts on “The Night Before Kindergarten

  1. Kim, this made me tear up for you. How beautiful your letters are.

    Between this and everything you’ve been going through, if you were here I’d let you talk, get you drunk, and see if there was anything I could do to ease your troubles, even for just a little while.

  2. Man, got me teary-eyed AGAIN. That’s two posts in a row. The depth of your connection to your children, your knowledge of their deepest emotions and fears, and the way you flex yourself to support them however they need it most is so sweet. I hope I’ll be as solid a foundation for my little guy when he sets off for school three years from now. It’s scary to think of how soon it will be upon us.

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